stellaluna: (stella & hawkes we're stronger together)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 06:42pm on 12/02/2010 under
Yesterday was a horrible day of airport hell, but it's over now, and I'm not thinking about it anymore. The important thing is that I made it to Atlanta, and I'm here with [livejournal.com profile] scarletts_awry. We went to the Flying Biscuit this morning for brunch, and then hit Criminal Records just as it was starting to snow.

After that, we went to the grocery store to stock up in case we get stuck inside over the weekend, and I was delighted when practically the first thing [livejournal.com profile] scarletts_awry said was, "Should we get beer? We don't want to run out." That's the classic New York response to inclement weather, and although [livejournal.com profile] scarletts_awry isn't from there, I think there's a little bit of New York in her outlook.

We came home and played Scribblenauts, which is awesome, and soon we're going to have dinner, then watch a movie.

And yes, we can has beer.
Mood:: happy
stellaluna: (stella & hawkes)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 09:09pm on 10/02/2010 under
In about eight hours I'll be leaving for the airport, and in about 16 hours, I'll be with [livejournal.com profile] scarletts_awry!

I'm (mostly) packed, and I've scheduled the airport cab pick-up for the morning, so I'm all set to go. Now I just have to get there, and then we can start our long weekend together.

In addition, I don't have to go to, or think about, work until next Tuesday.
Mood:: sleepy
stellaluna: (martha determined)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 09:25pm on 09/02/2010 under
I'm feeling better today than I was last night. The sadness, the missing my [livejournal.com profile] scarletts_awry, is still there, but I'm managing it better.

The positive part about posting that was that I did post it, when my natural instinct is typically to repress this kind of thing and want to hide from the world.

As I said in reply to comments there, it's okay (and normal) to be sad or angry or lonely sometimes. And it's better to acknowledge that/acknowledge how I'm feeling than to repress the emotions and try to deny them. That would be just as bad as being the kind of person who gets mired in negativity and sees everything as bad or wrong or unpleasant.

It's okay for me to not feel good or thoughtful some days, and it's okay to be sad or angry or worried sometimes.

I am, always, a work in progress.
Mood:: cold
stellaluna: (leverage sophie & nate fall to pieces)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 10:14pm on 08/02/2010 under
I've been sitting here with Word open for over an hour, staring at a blank document.

It's hard to come up with anything to write, because I'm sad tonight. Even though I'm going to see [livejournal.com profile] scarletts_awry in less than three days, I'm lonely right now and missing her and all of it just hurts. I know we're in the home stretch now of being apart, too, so all of this misery feels even more self-indulgent than it normally would.

I reject negativity and toxicity. I reject the idea of living my life with that kind of outlook. I reject living a thoughtless life. I want to do better than that, be better than that. Yet all I can do right now is sit here and think about how sad I am -- and how ridiculous and spoiled and (again) self-indulgent is that? And I think I used to be better than this at writing out my thoughts and emotions. Now all I can do is talk myself in circles.

Missing my girlfriend: that I can fix. Missing the ability to be able to write about the things that are on my mind, and the things that I'm interested in: that I don't know how to change, or how to fix.
Mood:: blue
stellaluna: (leverage sophie kiss)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 09:01pm on 07/02/2010 under
1. I don't follow pro football and I had no stake in this game, but still and all, I'm somehow delighted to see the Saints win. And I like to think that, in some universe, Rickey and G-man are celebrating too. Shush.

2. Although I'm clean, I haven't otherwise gotten out of my pajamas all day, and I haven't taken my hair out of its around-the-house ponytail. I just need a day like that every so often.

3. I started to pack! I am trying not to overpack.

ETA:

4. Puppy Bowl 2010! Oh my god. I think the bunny cheerleaders are my favorite. Could they be any more bored?
Mood:: okay
stellaluna: (stella happy)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 08:21pm on 06/02/2010 under
1. I ran all the errands I needed to today prior to going out of town. Although I haven't actually started to pack yet, I also began to sort out the clothes I want to take.

2. I managed to get several more gold medals in Cooking Mama 3. The DS I bought last summer is still one of my best purchases ever.

3. I don't quite know how I suddenly turned domestic, but I've been quite enjoying looking up recipes on Vegetarian Times and the like. Not that I've actually put any of them into action yet, but I'm going to; what's more, I'm actually looking forward to it.
Mood:: calm
stellaluna: (emily bingo)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 09:28pm on 05/02/2010 under
1. It's Friday! Which means it's the weekend. Which means that I can sleep late tomorrow.

2. I only have three more days of work before I get on a plane to go see [livejournal.com profile] scarletts_awry.

3. I have clean laundry. I do not have laundry that has been hung up or folded and put away, but one thing at a time. Cleanliness is the most important bit; everything else is gravy.

4. It is pouring down rain and cold and windy, but now that the laundry is done, I don't have to go out in it again tonight. I'm currently boiling water to make myself a cup of tea, and when it's done, I'm going to have it with something sweet.
Mood:: cold
stellaluna: (leverage hardison)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 09:21pm on 04/02/2010 under
(and then I am really going to bed, for real.)

This is more a mix of "favorite movies" and "movies I like a lot," but go for it.

1. Pick 20 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB, and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. No cheating!


quote time )
Mood:: tired
stellaluna: (chuck charles)
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 09:06pm on 04/02/2010 under
1. Despite computer woes at work, our awesome tech support had me up and running again in less than an hour with a new hard drive. I will spend much of the morning fiddling with settings, but at least I can, you know, do my actual work, too. Which is especially important since I'm in charge tomorrow.

2. The headache I've had since last night may finally be starting to fade.

3. I had a nonfat chai latte this morning and sushi for lunch, and they were both good.
Mood:: tired
stellaluna: (i love the discovery channel (& xkcd))
posted by [personal profile] stellaluna at 09:43pm on 03/02/2010 under ,
Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. ♥ I needed to talk (even if I was struggling to put it all into words), and you all really helped me feel better about things.

In the spirit of trying to practice kindness and put forth a positive outlook, and as counterpoint to that post, I now present a list of five things that are making me happy right now this very second:

1. I go to Atlanta a week from tomorrow to visit [livejournal.com profile] scarletts_awry, and we get to spend the long Presidents Day weekend together.

2. I'm reading Truman Capote's account of his visit to Russia with the touring company of Porgy and Bess in 1955, which somehow I've skipped over before in his collected essays, and it's wonderful.

3. My shows are all awesome right now. Except for Mad Men, but only because it's between seasons and isn't on at the moment. I'm sure it will be awesome when it starts back up in the summer, especially after the extended Crowning Moment of Awesome that constituted the season finale.

4. Trader Joe's Indian meals. So hot and spicy and good, especially with their naan bread.

5. Daylight savings time will be kicking in soon.

There. Five happy-making things, and a nice reminder that there are many good things in my life, despite the occasional bouts of crappiness.

(I should really try doing [livejournal.com profile] thinkpositive30 again.)
Mood:: calm

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